On Selfies

I just read an article shared by a Facebook friend (yeah, not a friend in real life) about how hard it is to be an introvert in the Philippines. I quit reading halfway through because it's basically someone whining about how noisy the world, particularly the Philippines, is. I don't even know why I bothered reading in the first place. I mean, I'm not an introvert. Any person in his right mind would never consider me an introvert. Yeah, I need some peace and quiet every now and then because that's basically what you need when you're trying to transfer something from brain to paper. But overall, I like the noise. I thrive in the fun and revelry of this screwed-up world.

I just automatically switch into being an introvert when something socially unacceptable comes to mind. I think a lot about inappropriate things that sober, educated people would never dare blurt out. This blog will contain one of the things that I've been thinking about for the past few days that would definitely raise eyebrows one way or another. Again, this is just my opinion. If you know me well enough, you wouldn't even bother refuting what I'm about to say here because I simply have an opinion about everything.

So here it goes.

Believe me, I have nothing against selfies the way I don't have issues with people who smoke pot. Like smoking pot, it's generally okay to take pictures of yourself and post them wherever you want UNTIL YOU ABUSE IT.

For someone like me who is more of a selfie-viewer than a selfie-taker, there are two types of selfies: (1) the normal selfies and (2) the annoying selfies. There are a lot of categories under each class but let's not get into that ('cause it reminds me of how bloody Plant Systematics was back in college). To cut the story short, the normal selfie is any selfie that doesn't make you want to jump off the nearest cliff and slash your jugulars at the same time. All the rest falls under the annoying selfies. Some of its features include the following: (1) wacky faces that have no logic to them (i.e. duck face), (2) ridiculous overuse of filters, effects and what-have-you, (3) 95% "sexy" body part, 5% face and (4) selfies with song lyrics, Bible verses or famous quotations as its caption.

I honestly don't find anything wrong with taking a picture of yourself doing a duck face. It's just that why would you even do that? It's okay if you have someone to do that silly face with in the picture or it's a group wacky picture but by yourself? I don't get it. I seriously want to know what goes on in the head of those who duck face in selfies. It's gonna be a phenomenal thesis topic.

I'm no photography guru but I believe that the purpose of filters and effects is to make photos more attractive, not mutilate it with colors and make it look like an art project of a depressed five-year-old. That's enough said.

I really don't wanna say this on my blog but I guess I just have to since there's no other way of saying it. Stop with the slutty selfies already! Everyone can easily Google what boobs look like! Your help is not needed! And don't even get me started on jerks "not respecting" you in your own piece of cyberspace because you totally asked for it. If taking a picture of yourself semi-clothed is really that important to you, knock yourself out. Just don't frickin' post it. Nobody needs to see it.

I'm not really that sure but most of these selfie people probably missed that class in high school where their English teacher explained the meaning of the word "caption". Captions are supposed to explain what's in the picture. I don't get why teenage girls post photos of themselves wearing ridiculous, colored contact lenses, way more make-up than Kabuki actors and skirts that could already pass for a pair of underwear with captions from the lyrics of their favorite songs. When song lyrics just won't cut it, they settle for famous quotations (usually by Marilyn Monroe which is personally not okay with me because I love her and I look up to her and most of the time, people in such selfies look nowhere near the meaning of the quotation). And as if that's not infuriating enough, some even use Bible verses as captions. I'm honestly not going to be surprised if God decides to flood the earth again.

Like I said, the general rule is to not overdo stuff. You wanna take a picture of yourself, fine. Go ahead. Just don't do it like it's a frickin' paid intern job. And if you ever find yourself itching to take a selfie, go for a normal one. You can only be annoying in the web for so long before people start making your life miserable without even laying a finger on you.

Damn. It feels great to finally get that off my chest.

One down, a whole lot more to go.

Peace out.