From the Convoluted Thoughts of a Big People Pleaser
I have a confession to make.
I'm often anxious about meeting new people. When placed in a situation wherein I would have to talk to people I'm meeting for the first time, I have little panic attacks that fortunately don't manifest physically. Many people, especially people who have known me for years, would beg to disagree with this because I'm such the life of the party and I'm so ridiculously excited to meet people when I get the chance. The fact is I'm not. I guess I'm just very good at concealing the turmoil that is my feelings.
Don't get me wrong. I like meeting new people. It gives me a whole new perspective in life and somehow restores my faith in humanity. It's just that sometimes, I get pressured by wanting to get accepted at the first meeting. I'm a big people pleaser and every time I find out that there's someone who doesn't dig me from the bunch of people I just met, I get upset. That's why I tend to pretend to be somebody else for the first few minutes of the conversation and look for cracks along the way to slowly slip my crazy side. If it connects, great. If it doesn't, I'm gonna spend the rest of my time stressing about what went wrong. That's how neurotic I get when I meet new people.
Luckily, this is one of the things that most people grow out of, myself included. I still feel a bit anxious sometimes when meeting new people but the whole people pleasing thing—and I can't emphasize enough how glad I am about this—is completely out the window. Along the way, I realized that pleasing everyone is impossible. No matter what I say or do, people will always have something to say and what gives value to what they say is my giving a damn. So I'm in a whole new paradigm now. I acknowledge being nervous at the thought of meeting someone new but don't go as far as pretending to be somebody else. I just go ahead and be who I am straight on. What the other person thinks is his/her problem and none of my business. And let me tell you, life became so much easier. Another thing I found out is that when you're honest about who you are the first time you meet someone, there's more chance that the person will like you and become your friend.
So why am I disturbing cyberspace again with my little epiphany? I guess I just want to share this to everyone who can relate. At one point in our lives, we unnecessarily concern ourselves with what others think and lose who we really are in the process. Sometimes, we forget just because we don't want others to. We stress so much about wanting to be remembered and liked. The truth is we are all lovable; it just takes someone special and worthy to realize that. Otherwise, there would be no hate and without hate, there would be no balance.
And I'm gonna stop now because I'm starting to feel a little weird about the sudden onset of this wisdom. I expect to be hungry in the next ten minutes.
Before I go, I just wanna say that there's actually someone I talked to this morning that triggered all of this. And I wanna thank him. His call made the morning of this day memorable.
Okay. I was wrong. Hunger set in immediately.
Gotta go.
I'm often anxious about meeting new people. When placed in a situation wherein I would have to talk to people I'm meeting for the first time, I have little panic attacks that fortunately don't manifest physically. Many people, especially people who have known me for years, would beg to disagree with this because I'm such the life of the party and I'm so ridiculously excited to meet people when I get the chance. The fact is I'm not. I guess I'm just very good at concealing the turmoil that is my feelings.
Don't get me wrong. I like meeting new people. It gives me a whole new perspective in life and somehow restores my faith in humanity. It's just that sometimes, I get pressured by wanting to get accepted at the first meeting. I'm a big people pleaser and every time I find out that there's someone who doesn't dig me from the bunch of people I just met, I get upset. That's why I tend to pretend to be somebody else for the first few minutes of the conversation and look for cracks along the way to slowly slip my crazy side. If it connects, great. If it doesn't, I'm gonna spend the rest of my time stressing about what went wrong. That's how neurotic I get when I meet new people.
Luckily, this is one of the things that most people grow out of, myself included. I still feel a bit anxious sometimes when meeting new people but the whole people pleasing thing—and I can't emphasize enough how glad I am about this—is completely out the window. Along the way, I realized that pleasing everyone is impossible. No matter what I say or do, people will always have something to say and what gives value to what they say is my giving a damn. So I'm in a whole new paradigm now. I acknowledge being nervous at the thought of meeting someone new but don't go as far as pretending to be somebody else. I just go ahead and be who I am straight on. What the other person thinks is his/her problem and none of my business. And let me tell you, life became so much easier. Another thing I found out is that when you're honest about who you are the first time you meet someone, there's more chance that the person will like you and become your friend.
So why am I disturbing cyberspace again with my little epiphany? I guess I just want to share this to everyone who can relate. At one point in our lives, we unnecessarily concern ourselves with what others think and lose who we really are in the process. Sometimes, we forget just because we don't want others to. We stress so much about wanting to be remembered and liked. The truth is we are all lovable; it just takes someone special and worthy to realize that. Otherwise, there would be no hate and without hate, there would be no balance.
And I'm gonna stop now because I'm starting to feel a little weird about the sudden onset of this wisdom. I expect to be hungry in the next ten minutes.
Before I go, I just wanna say that there's actually someone I talked to this morning that triggered all of this. And I wanna thank him. His call made the morning of this day memorable.
Okay. I was wrong. Hunger set in immediately.
Gotta go.
Comments
Post a Comment