My Trip to Calaguas ('Cause I Can't Think of Anything Smartass to Title This Post)

But first, we need to talk about how ECSTATIC I am about my new blog header and overall design. Well, I really can't call it "design" since I basically stripped it of color and went back to basics because, let's face it, this is how your blog is supposed to look if you want it to be "social media worthy." You're also not supposed to name your blog after something really fucking serious because chances are (1) nobody will get it and (2) on the off chance that somebody does get it, he/she would just assume you're an angry person who seeks to raise hell in cyberspace with your unsolicited opinions about everything. I also have been getting a lot of feedback lately from people who actually give a shit about what I say in my blog. They were all like, "Write, bitch. We wanna read your stuff."

And so here I am.

Not that you asked but I did the header with Photoshop and spent 45 minutes trying to get the best glasses-and-coffee selfie (it's not a thing) with my crappy phone. I figured how to patch everything up with my awesome research skills and Google. You're welcome.

I haven't gone that deep into my own imaginary rabbit hole to think of myself as a "traveler." If it weren't for my coworkers who are huge suckers for cheap travel deals, I wouldn't even think about setting foot outside my house. Ever since realizing that the world is now ridiculously overpopulated and polluted, I developed an aversion to spending time outdoors. I was all like, "Why see our one world when I can travel to a thousand different ones through books?" Yeah, that one has "stupid fucking excuse" written all over it.

As you may have learned from my previous "travel post," I almost died so I haven't been relishing the idea of climbing another mountain. A lot of my coworkers tried inviting me and I tried my best to be polite and told them hell no. I haven't really been making plans since then until one of my teammates invited me on a trip to Calaguas. After making sure that the trekking activity isn't lethal, I said yes despite current financial constraints. I'm all about YOLO now. Travel now, pulubi later. That's the spirit.

But can I just say that this looks like fucking Narnia?

Taken by our handsome guide Vince
from Weekend Traveler PH

I looked up pictures of the island on the internet and was a bit skeptical (I blame all the pretty burger photos that never live up to their representation). I was like, "Nothing could ever look that good in real life," only to be slapped in the face by sparkling turquoise waters hiding on the western edge of the Pacific Ocean. Breathtaking is such a huge understatement.

We left Manila (Ayala, Makati to be exact) a few minutes past 9 PM on a Friday and arrived at the island a few minutes before 10 AM, Saturday. It was a long, exhausting ride but it was worth it. I was sitting on the second row of seats on the boat, so I was able to get like 75% to 90% of the island's unbelievable gleaming beauty at first glance. It was like making out with all the vampires of the Twilight Saga in broad daylight. When I went off the boat and felt the fine sand beneath my feet and the cool, clear water surround my legs, I knew I'd never wanna go home after time's up.

The weather was nice when we were there so we were able to do a little bit of trekking and snorkeling. Well, my teammates went snorkeling. I just floated clumsily around trying to get my shorts and underwear to stay on my hips. And since it would be complete hell for everyone to get me back on the boat, one of our bangkeros suggested we do it banana boat style on the boat's katig back to shore. Again, my teammates went banana boat style. I just hung on to dear life to one of the bamboo katigs and talked the unforgiving waves out of taking away my underwear in the middle of the fucking ocean. A few minutes, battered down underwear, and two sore arms later, I was back on shore and made one of my teammates bite the tangled strings on my life vest so I can sit on the sand and digest the fuck that just happened. After deciding that I'm thankful to be alive, with bottoms, and safely on shore, I ran to the sea and bear-hugged the waves (like they never tried to undress me from the waist down in the middle of Poseidon's Philippine domain).

Painful calves were WORTH IT.

Peace and Love

Under the Sea

I'm the one in the water. Not really as fun as it looks.

After drinking our asses off on Saturday night (and realizing a lot of big things I've been screwing up in my life lately), we went to another trekking activity that made all of us feel like we just entered the set of The Sound of Music. And I sang.

I was singing Pangako Sa 'Yo in this photo. I don't know why
I'm blabbing about The Sound of Music.

Started from the bottom...

...took "candid" pictures..

...and now we're here!

If only I can stay here forever.

And of course, what trip doesn't include a little silliness?

I honestly don't know what to caption this...

...or this...

...but this is definitely Titas of Calaguas FTW!

We also made new friends on this trip during our attempt to play beach volleyball.

#SQUADGOALS

And now I spitball random pictures to make you even more jealous. HAHAHAHAHA!

King's Cup per usual.

#SEXYBACK

Sand mermaids 'cause we ran out of stuff to do.

#VITAMINSEAISLIFE

So now I'm supposed to talk to you about how this trip changed me and how it made me realize a lot of little things I've been neglecting. Let me be blunt—this trip hasn't changed me. Well, not yet. I want to start with that realization that I believe is the most important—THINGS TAKE TIME. More often than not, the most beautiful things take the longest time and are worth it. Until this trip, I'd been made to believe that patience is no longer a virtue but a talent, something that you need to acquire through brutal experience and concentration. I'd like to think of it this way—patience is talent in its infancy then blossoms into virtue through time. I'm still on the talent phase with my patience but with a wider view of the horizon and perception of things, I'm getting there. And how, you may ask, can you get a wider view of the horizon and perception of things? Get off your ass and go somewhere. It really doesn't have to be somewhere fancy and you really don't have to cash out a lot. If you can afford it, then great but if you really want to go somewhere pricey, join group trips or organize one. That is if you're not out on a soul-searching journey in which case traveling alone is better. The point is GO THE FUCK SOMEWHERE, ANYWHERE. While Googling stuff is faster and more convenient (not to mention free), learning through experience and interaction sticks better as it allows you to actually use all your faculties of perception. Pretty Instagram photos and painfully lengthy blog posts (I'm not sorry) aside, experience and interaction will ultimately teach you the basic stuff you've been ignoring since your credit card bills and insufferable boss—THAT IT'S YOUR BIRTHRIGHT TO BREATHE ONCE IN A WHILE AND SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T MAKE YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF. What you do on vacation might not help you pay your dues but in the end, it will help you recharge and go back to the (boring) stuff you do to pay your dues. Besides, what you saw on your travels is a better subject for reminiscing than what you did to make your boss's (stupid and far-fetched) idea a reality. Damn, I'm loving this.

Before I (finally) wrap this up, I just want to say thank you to all the wonderful people I went to Calaguas with—Algie (BEST BOSS AND BAE EVER), The Titas of Calaguas Wheng, Ruby, Abi, and Nercy, our resident photographer Kevin from whom most of the photos in this post were grabbed, Bes Mhar and his Bes Lean, Ocie, and Dianne who monopolized all the laughter during this trip, and the Two Christophers Teves and Bonto who are awesome per usual. I love you guys for not letting me drown and pretending that you were all tired and walking slowly during the trekking so I won't feel bad. But I was tired and almost dead as evidenced by this photo.

Thanks, Kev. Thanks a lot.

Thanks also to our fun tour guide Vince from Weekend Traveler PH who turned out to be just as crazy as we all are and it was awesome. To our new friends Luigi and Althea, nice game and we hope to run into you guys again in the future. Also a shoutout to all the beautiful people of Camarines Norte who made our trip a memorable one from the road, to the boat, down to the food—you're all fantastic and thank you. And yeah, I will definitely come back soon with tighter underwear and bottoms that will laugh in the face of big waves.

Peace out.