How Rogue One Slayed 2016: A Review by a Blown-Out-of-Her-Fucking-Mind, Non-Hardcore Star Wars Fan (Spoilers Ahead)

Before anything else, I wanna take a moment to digest that I'm now writing this blog entry using my new laptop bought with my hard-earned money.

*Insert victorious musical score here.*

Yes, hard work works.

Okay. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say right off the bat that I'm not really a Star Wars fan. In fact, almost 95% of my Star Wars knowledge comes from either The Big Bang Theory or picked-up chatter from actual Star Wars fans. Maybe that's because I was born after the initial Star Wars hype and my first clear memory of a movie franchise was Harry Potter. But you know what they say—better late than never.

First, we have to talk about how awesome the movie posters are.

#amazeballs

#amazebaaaaalls

#amazebaaaaaaaaaalls

I walked into the movie house earlier barely remembering the basics of the Star Wars universe which is especially hard for me because aside from not being a hardcore fan, I'm not used to the mixed-up sequence this franchise is known for. I had no idea what to expect. And that's the reason why I stood up and clapped like hell when the credits started rolling. IT WAS THAT GREAT.

So what was it all about? It's basically episode 3.5 in the Star Wars series—the story of how the Death Star was built, how it can destroy planets and shit, and how it almost brought the Rebel Alliance to its knees. It was a chaotic time where the Empire slowly muscles in and creates the ultimate weapon of mass destruction. The story is amazing in that it has all the elements of a good epic movie in sci-fi packaging and more: (1) the genius; (2) the traitor; (3) the hero/heroine; as a delicious plus, (4) the guys that add life and tragedy to the plot; and of course (5) the bad guys. Even though this episode showed the darker side of Star Wars, it didn't fail in making the audience laugh in some sequences. For example, this guy.

K-2SO is LOOOVE!

And this guy.

#BLINDJEDIWANNABEBEKICKINGSTORMTROOPERASS

So yeah. Rogue One slayed an otherwise fucked-up 2016 in three ways:

1. It's awesome across my movie success board—casting, plot, visual effects, and musical score.
2. It has literally no dull moment yet not overbearing, which is a very difficult sweet spot to achieve especially for sci-fi and fantasy movies.
3. It leaves the audience with ridiculously mixed emotions and makes them raise existential questions. In my case at least.

THE VERDICT: 1,000,000/10 STORM TROOPERS

Before I end this review, I just wanna share the most unforgettable scene in the movie for me. It's the one after the Council meeting where Captain Cassian Andor, together with a few rebels, volunteered to accompany Jyn to Scarif to steal the Death Star plans. It made me remember how I felt when Katniss agreed to be the Mockingjay and lead the revolution, when Harry stood by his friends to ultimately face Voldemort, when Tris fought against Erudite, when Celaena/Aelin claimed her throne as the rightful queen of Terrasen, and when Daenerys entered her husband's funeral pyre and emerged unscathed as the Mother of Dragons. Not all movies can give you a motherfucking emotional film/TV/novel deja vu like that. Goddamn.

Hats off to the cast and crew of this awesome movie.

And to George Lucas, may you live forever. Seriously. This kind of imagination deserves to be beyond immortal.

P.S. I'm an official Star Wars fan now.