Dilemma

Before I begin this rant, I would like to sincerely apologize to the people I sent into a panic attack after my last entry. It was such a stupid thing to write. I'm really sorry.

Okay. Moving on.

I woke up feeling like crap. My whole body hurt and my mind wasn't in its right functioning order. I tried moving around despite the shouting opposition of my brain and muscle tissues. The pain subsided and I ended up watching the two remaining episodes of the first season of House with my sister.

House is my new obsession. Last night, I dreamed about marrying him and going to a honeymoon. Maybe that explains the whole body pain thing though I don't really remember anything wild. It's just weird that I got obsessed with something that has already been running for seven seasons. I have a thing for getting obsessed with things in a very late time. I got obsessed with Harry Potter while everyone is already going gaga over the Twilight Saga. I guess I'm a late bloomer in the very essence of the word late.

And I guess that's just an introduction.

In a few days, I would be saying goodbye to school for good. I'm graduating with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Biology which is a big deal. It's not everyday that I get to graduate from a school that's really hard to graduate from unless I have a crazily brilliant mind or a crazily dough-filled pocket, two things I unfortunately don't possess. I'm happy though that I'd be graduating and my mom's ecstatic about it. She's so ecstatic that she decided to find a job for me and I got the orientation last week. She talked about teaching high school students what I learned in my professors' torture chamber for four years. Yeah. She wants me to be a high school Biology teacher. She's saying that she's only suggesting but it really did sound like she wanted me to do it and forget about planning my writing career. She said all I have to do is take up a few more units so I could get a teaching license and let me tell you - while she's saying all that with a ridiculously excited expression, I tried with my life to keep my facial muscles from contorting into something that she wouldn't like and somehow I failed. I made a face but she still went on. She tried convincing me by telling me how much money I could make in a month by dealing with high school students who couldn't care less about killing a poor frog for the sake of knowledge. Somehow, she did succeed about the whole convincing thing. A salary of 25,000 a month is not bad if I only teach two classes a day and it should be easy for me because I've studied the field.

I just don't like the idea that after spending more than a decade of my life in school, I would end up working in it.

If it was up to me, I would run away from home, marry a rich old guy who's dying in two days, get a hold of his riches and go to med school. Okay. I was kidding but not about going to med school. That's really what I want to happen with my life. It's either become a doctor or become a writer, two things my mom doesn't approve of at the moment. She doesn't approve of the doctor thing because of financial issues and she doesn't approve of the writer thing because of things I really don't understand. I think she's thinking that being a writer would make me end up living in a box in the streets and dying of ulcer. I wish I had the guts to tell her what I want to do with my life.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm not really destined to become a doctor or a writer.

It sucks.

I just hope I don't end up living a miserable life by doing what others want me to do.

I'm gonna go now, cry like a baby in the bathroom where no one would suspect a thing.