One Broke Girl

Day 136.

I don't know if it's really hate or I'm just overreacting.

Lately, I feel like I'm living in a ridiculously overcrowded house with people I have no blood ties with, one of which just tried to send my mom to jail three days ago. Every single day I wake up to the sound of a kid crying or an angry mother trying to put her unbelievably restless son back on his leash. I can't practically write or read a goddamn book because of the noise and so I spend my time watching movies and TV shows in my laptop with my earphones jammed into my eardrums. I told my mom I want to kick everyone out and have this place to ourselves. After all, it's what my dad died building. It's OUR property. But I guess my mom's just trying to keep the ship afloat and so she turned our house into some kind of a living hell by letting strangers rent rooms in it.

And with that introduction, I'd like to formally inform you, my dear reader, that all my efforts to earn decent money online have been in vain. Turns out there's limited slot for truth in the internet. Of course it all boils down to one thing - MY MOM WON. I'm going to stick my ass into the Philippine workforce. Again.

For some reason, I still feel so devastated about the last time I actually tried out for a job at a call center somewhere in Makati. I don't actually know if that's the reason why I'm so fucking scared of trying again. On one hand, I'm scared of meeting a similar fate with that of my fate ten months ago. Damn I'm scared of so many things. Rejection, horrible boss, inhumane salary, zero social life due to career optimization and whatnot. At times like these, I'm a glass-half-empty kind of girl.

But I guess it's time to finally grow up. I can't stay in my parents' house forever waiting for all the good stuff to come. I actually have to go out there and look for it. Besides, it really stings when I think about going out with my friends and then realize that all my wallet contains is my postal ID. It sucks being broke, you know.

So yeah. I'm back to square one.

Gameface on.