Love DDx
Day 143.
I can't believe I'm about to write a blog about something I really suck at - LOVE. As much as it sounds really ironic and downright ridiculous for someone who considers herself to be a glorified love story blogger, I'd like to make my case here. I may be the love doctor most of my friends seek advice from regarding matters of the heart but believe me when I say I don't have any idea where all the pieces of advice come from or how I make them sound like they're the smartest solutions. But I do speak from experience. I guess that's how it goes for people who give birth to wisdom after getting honorable battle scars.
Damn it. I'm babbling again. This is what happens when I finally decide to acknowledge something that has colossal potential of hurting me. As I've said in the first sentence of this blog, this is about love. More accurately I'd say this is about me falling in love.
At this point, I'm not sure if everything's for real. I'm not really geared and educated at performing a DDx for this kind of stuff. All I know is that I have trouble sleeping, thinking straight and functioning as a normal, indifferent love story writer who's supposed to be producing a maximum of three chapters per day on the average. But what the hell! I can't even concentrate on watching a goddamn movie because all I could think about was the way his eyes sparkled, the way his hand fit perfectly with mine and the way my heart acted like a total nutcase when he looked me straight in the eye. The last time I felt something like this was when I was sixteen and pressured by society to have a boyfriend like everybody else. Only this time, it felt natural. Like breathing. And that's what really scares the hell out of me.
Full of what-ifs is a gigantic understatement of my emotional description right now. It's only been more than sixty days but this guy really has an effect on me that makes my brain swim with endorphins. I really have no idea if he feels the same way although it's pretty obvious that he acts like it. One thing's for sure - I'm not gonna risk it.
And now we come to the most important part of this entry - LOVE ADVICE.
Even though I already know from tough experience that people who give excellent advice are biologically and psychologically programmed to not take their own advice, I'm still gonna give it a shot.
Looking into the situation, I'd say the best thing to do is to come clean with it. Tell the dude how you feel about him once and for all. If he feels the same way, great. If he doesn't, there are plenty more hot fishes in the sea. At least you freed yourself of a very unnecessary emotional baggage. It may be awkward with the guy afterwards but there's still a little possibility that he'll bump his head somewhere and realize that you're the only one for him. If you're not good with confrontations on the other hand, maybe going with the flow is the road you should take. Accept his little invitations, flirt with him, talk to him on the phone till the sun comes up and whatnot. For that there are only two possible outcomes - the guy eventually falls for you and asks you to be his girlfriend or the guy drops the "this is really fun but I'd rather be friends" bomb on you when you're utterly unprepared and vulnerable. Both sides have risks. You just have to pick the one whose negative outcome would hurt less.
I just reread the whole advice part and I have to say I should get a fucking guidance counseling job somewhere. I kicked ass. Although I'm pretty sure I'm gonna chicken out about making a move afterwards. Whatever.
Damn it feels good to get that off my chest! If I still zone out while watching a movie later or have trouble sleeping tonight, I'm gonna go ask this guy to marry me and be done with it. I'll make sure to bring a shotgun so I could kill myself if ever he rejects me. Of course I'm kidding. I can't miss crossing the whole freaking ocean full of hot, faithful and honest fishes.
I guess that's enough for now.
I really hope he reads this.
I can't believe I'm about to write a blog about something I really suck at - LOVE. As much as it sounds really ironic and downright ridiculous for someone who considers herself to be a glorified love story blogger, I'd like to make my case here. I may be the love doctor most of my friends seek advice from regarding matters of the heart but believe me when I say I don't have any idea where all the pieces of advice come from or how I make them sound like they're the smartest solutions. But I do speak from experience. I guess that's how it goes for people who give birth to wisdom after getting honorable battle scars.
Damn it. I'm babbling again. This is what happens when I finally decide to acknowledge something that has colossal potential of hurting me. As I've said in the first sentence of this blog, this is about love. More accurately I'd say this is about me falling in love.
At this point, I'm not sure if everything's for real. I'm not really geared and educated at performing a DDx for this kind of stuff. All I know is that I have trouble sleeping, thinking straight and functioning as a normal, indifferent love story writer who's supposed to be producing a maximum of three chapters per day on the average. But what the hell! I can't even concentrate on watching a goddamn movie because all I could think about was the way his eyes sparkled, the way his hand fit perfectly with mine and the way my heart acted like a total nutcase when he looked me straight in the eye. The last time I felt something like this was when I was sixteen and pressured by society to have a boyfriend like everybody else. Only this time, it felt natural. Like breathing. And that's what really scares the hell out of me.
Full of what-ifs is a gigantic understatement of my emotional description right now. It's only been more than sixty days but this guy really has an effect on me that makes my brain swim with endorphins. I really have no idea if he feels the same way although it's pretty obvious that he acts like it. One thing's for sure - I'm not gonna risk it.
And now we come to the most important part of this entry - LOVE ADVICE.
Even though I already know from tough experience that people who give excellent advice are biologically and psychologically programmed to not take their own advice, I'm still gonna give it a shot.
Looking into the situation, I'd say the best thing to do is to come clean with it. Tell the dude how you feel about him once and for all. If he feels the same way, great. If he doesn't, there are plenty more hot fishes in the sea. At least you freed yourself of a very unnecessary emotional baggage. It may be awkward with the guy afterwards but there's still a little possibility that he'll bump his head somewhere and realize that you're the only one for him. If you're not good with confrontations on the other hand, maybe going with the flow is the road you should take. Accept his little invitations, flirt with him, talk to him on the phone till the sun comes up and whatnot. For that there are only two possible outcomes - the guy eventually falls for you and asks you to be his girlfriend or the guy drops the "this is really fun but I'd rather be friends" bomb on you when you're utterly unprepared and vulnerable. Both sides have risks. You just have to pick the one whose negative outcome would hurt less.
I just reread the whole advice part and I have to say I should get a fucking guidance counseling job somewhere. I kicked ass. Although I'm pretty sure I'm gonna chicken out about making a move afterwards. Whatever.
Damn it feels good to get that off my chest! If I still zone out while watching a movie later or have trouble sleeping tonight, I'm gonna go ask this guy to marry me and be done with it. I'll make sure to bring a shotgun so I could kill myself if ever he rejects me. Of course I'm kidding. I can't miss crossing the whole freaking ocean full of hot, faithful and honest fishes.
I guess that's enough for now.
I really hope he reads this.
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