The Involuntary Poker Face
Day 35.
The last three days have been excruciatingly stressful. My circadian rhythm totally went haywire while my mom tried to convince me to my sleep-deprived face to quit my job. She doesn't really get panicky about me when I walk around the house disoriented and everything but when she saw me going to work without even taking a shower because of my ridiculously hectic and pressure-filled schedule, she decided to enter the scene. She even told me I'll just end up spending my loser salary in hospital bills which is completely possible considering the current situation. I'm really touched by her concern despite the involuntary poker face my already damaged facial nerves brought because of too much exhaustion.
Today was really a fulfilling day for me despite the tiredness. I volunteered to compute the average of all the grades of my co-teachers for no reason at all. Everyone jumped in like I'm an ice cream man giving out free popsicles. I happily did everyone else's job and for the first time, I found expecting something in return to be a downright stupid idea. Normally, my messiah complex doesn't go this far but I'm quite amazed myself. Now I can really say that it's really better to give than to receive. What I'm feeling now is better than the one I get when a guy I really like randomly talks to me about the weather.
On the other hand, I feel bad about not being able to write something for my literary blog. I was supposed to post chapter 4 today according to the "plans" in my planner but I guess my writing career would have to wait. As a teacher, I still have a lot of souls to save from the perils of ignorance. I just sounded cheesy there, didn't I? Ugh.
I guess I'm gonna go now.
I can already feel my heartbeat in my temples.
Fucking scary.
The last three days have been excruciatingly stressful. My circadian rhythm totally went haywire while my mom tried to convince me to my sleep-deprived face to quit my job. She doesn't really get panicky about me when I walk around the house disoriented and everything but when she saw me going to work without even taking a shower because of my ridiculously hectic and pressure-filled schedule, she decided to enter the scene. She even told me I'll just end up spending my loser salary in hospital bills which is completely possible considering the current situation. I'm really touched by her concern despite the involuntary poker face my already damaged facial nerves brought because of too much exhaustion.
Today was really a fulfilling day for me despite the tiredness. I volunteered to compute the average of all the grades of my co-teachers for no reason at all. Everyone jumped in like I'm an ice cream man giving out free popsicles. I happily did everyone else's job and for the first time, I found expecting something in return to be a downright stupid idea. Normally, my messiah complex doesn't go this far but I'm quite amazed myself. Now I can really say that it's really better to give than to receive. What I'm feeling now is better than the one I get when a guy I really like randomly talks to me about the weather.
On the other hand, I feel bad about not being able to write something for my literary blog. I was supposed to post chapter 4 today according to the "plans" in my planner but I guess my writing career would have to wait. As a teacher, I still have a lot of souls to save from the perils of ignorance. I just sounded cheesy there, didn't I? Ugh.
I guess I'm gonna go now.
I can already feel my heartbeat in my temples.
Fucking scary.
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