Sugarcoated Lies
Day 60.
The correct biological response my body should have right now is anger. Anger at myself for not doing the right thing again and anger at the rotten system for having ridiculously stupid rules. I want to be angry with all my heart but all I'm feeling right now is complete weakness. As of the moment, I just want to sit at one corner and shut myself out from the world. I'm fucking sick and tired.
I don't understand why all the people I care about have to sugarcoat things so that I could be saved from all the motherfucking agony. I mean, I get that they don't want to hurt me by telling me the truth but isn't it better to tell someone the truth and hurt him than tell him a lie and make him happy? What's the rationale behind lying to protect the people you love? Can't that be considered a gesture of betrayal? I don't get it. I just fucking don't.
Right now, I'm on the edge of walking away and never coming back. I'm tired of always being the one that has to clean up the mess after all the stupid shit. Everyone has to realize that if they can't be capable of telling me what's wrong straight on, then I'd be doing things in my own terms. I can't save everyone from everything.
I'd rather suffer in painful truths than rejoice in sugarcoated lies.
The correct biological response my body should have right now is anger. Anger at myself for not doing the right thing again and anger at the rotten system for having ridiculously stupid rules. I want to be angry with all my heart but all I'm feeling right now is complete weakness. As of the moment, I just want to sit at one corner and shut myself out from the world. I'm fucking sick and tired.
I don't understand why all the people I care about have to sugarcoat things so that I could be saved from all the motherfucking agony. I mean, I get that they don't want to hurt me by telling me the truth but isn't it better to tell someone the truth and hurt him than tell him a lie and make him happy? What's the rationale behind lying to protect the people you love? Can't that be considered a gesture of betrayal? I don't get it. I just fucking don't.
Right now, I'm on the edge of walking away and never coming back. I'm tired of always being the one that has to clean up the mess after all the stupid shit. Everyone has to realize that if they can't be capable of telling me what's wrong straight on, then I'd be doing things in my own terms. I can't save everyone from everything.
I'd rather suffer in painful truths than rejoice in sugarcoated lies.
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