Some Self-Discernment
Day 51.
This is what the great Bob Ong said about taking writing as a means of making a living. One of the most amazing things about being a writer is that you're your own boss. Nobody harangues you with deadlines and does so with an insufferable approach. Nobody breathes down your neck while you're at work. When you write, you're in your own world. You're GOD. As much as you are your own boss, you're also your own employee. Even if you need not worry and act all robotic when your boss is around just like when you're a simple employee, it's still difficult for a writer. Why? Because if you don't do anything, both employee and employer fail. No words on paper means no cash in the wallet. It's okay when YOU'RE REALLY GOD and writer's block is scared of you but for most writers, that's the usual problem. Brilliant ideas normally come to a writer at the most inconvenient of times. As Mr. Ong stated in one of his bestsellers Stainless Longganisa, "Pag binisita ka ng ideya, gana o inspirasyon, kailangan mong itigil LAHAT ng ginagawa mo para lang hindi masayang ang pagkakataon." That's my dilemma most of the time. Like earlier, while I was staring at my students while they're taking their CLE long test, some idea came to me about something worth writing. Now I totally forgot about it because I didn't have something that time to write on. It's frustrating.
At this point, I'm not sure where this blog is going. Maybe I'm just trying to do some self-discernment like what my employer suggested earlier when she called me in her office for yet another episode of inspirational pep talk. "Ano ba talagang gusto mong gawin sa buhay mo, Teacher Pam?" she asked. I stared at the little piece of marble that bore her name on her table. I didn't answer directly for fear of giving her an ambiguous idea of what I want to do with my life but I swear I saw in front of my eyes a big neon-colored banner that says, "GUSTO KONG MAGSULAT. PERIOD." She went on telling me about how incredibly talented I am and how many employers would kill to hire someone like me. For a moment, it went right up to my head but realizing that I already knew that considering a lot of people have already slapped that fact across my awesomeness-filled face, I didn't flinch. At the end of the story, she just asked me to write a formal letter of apology for my delinquent and immature behavior lately and everybody went on with the usual routine.
So this is where it all boils down.
What do I want to do with my life?
Well, I've already made it clear that at some point, I want to become one of the most badass creative writers the world has ever known. Sure there are a lot of ridiculously outrageous dreams I also want to come true on the side like marrying Hugh Jackman and Dr. Gregory House on the same day, getting so unbelievably rich I would use a 1000 peso bill as a scratch paper, swimming through the Mariana's Trench, getting back at all the people who took advantage of my dad's goodness and whatnot.
I guess I only have one, simple answer to that million-dollar question.
I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE.
That's all.
This is what the great Bob Ong said about taking writing as a means of making a living. One of the most amazing things about being a writer is that you're your own boss. Nobody harangues you with deadlines and does so with an insufferable approach. Nobody breathes down your neck while you're at work. When you write, you're in your own world. You're GOD. As much as you are your own boss, you're also your own employee. Even if you need not worry and act all robotic when your boss is around just like when you're a simple employee, it's still difficult for a writer. Why? Because if you don't do anything, both employee and employer fail. No words on paper means no cash in the wallet. It's okay when YOU'RE REALLY GOD and writer's block is scared of you but for most writers, that's the usual problem. Brilliant ideas normally come to a writer at the most inconvenient of times. As Mr. Ong stated in one of his bestsellers Stainless Longganisa, "Pag binisita ka ng ideya, gana o inspirasyon, kailangan mong itigil LAHAT ng ginagawa mo para lang hindi masayang ang pagkakataon." That's my dilemma most of the time. Like earlier, while I was staring at my students while they're taking their CLE long test, some idea came to me about something worth writing. Now I totally forgot about it because I didn't have something that time to write on. It's frustrating.
At this point, I'm not sure where this blog is going. Maybe I'm just trying to do some self-discernment like what my employer suggested earlier when she called me in her office for yet another episode of inspirational pep talk. "Ano ba talagang gusto mong gawin sa buhay mo, Teacher Pam?" she asked. I stared at the little piece of marble that bore her name on her table. I didn't answer directly for fear of giving her an ambiguous idea of what I want to do with my life but I swear I saw in front of my eyes a big neon-colored banner that says, "GUSTO KONG MAGSULAT. PERIOD." She went on telling me about how incredibly talented I am and how many employers would kill to hire someone like me. For a moment, it went right up to my head but realizing that I already knew that considering a lot of people have already slapped that fact across my awesomeness-filled face, I didn't flinch. At the end of the story, she just asked me to write a formal letter of apology for my delinquent and immature behavior lately and everybody went on with the usual routine.
So this is where it all boils down.
What do I want to do with my life?
Well, I've already made it clear that at some point, I want to become one of the most badass creative writers the world has ever known. Sure there are a lot of ridiculously outrageous dreams I also want to come true on the side like marrying Hugh Jackman and Dr. Gregory House on the same day, getting so unbelievably rich I would use a 1000 peso bill as a scratch paper, swimming through the Mariana's Trench, getting back at all the people who took advantage of my dad's goodness and whatnot.
I guess I only have one, simple answer to that million-dollar question.
I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE.
That's all.
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