The Jewel

Day 58.

Let me start this entry by telling you how much of a control freak I am.

I hate it and I mean HATE IT when people tell me what to do. I'm way more comfortable with telling people what to do. I'm bossy and I push everyone around when I get to my extremes. I'm better off a leader than a follower because otherwise, I just end up being the insufferable violator. My mom never tells me what to do at home. If she does, she just gets frustrated because I don't do what she tells me to do unless I'm in a good mood to do it. My siblings never cross me because they know how I can turn into a vicious beast that can rip their jugulars out with one finger. To make the long story short, I always want to be the captain, not the boy who runs around pulling ropes to steer the ship.

If you know me well enough, you'd never dare tell me how to live my life. Apparently, some people at work never really see through my jolly, happy-go-lucky personality. They claim that they know me because of the words in my CV. The truth is they're not even close.

Not to brag but seeing things as they are now, maybe I'm a big potential loss to the institution. I'm a rare talent that most companies would kill for. I break rules at times but overall, I'm something that an establishment would consider a jewel. And what else would a king do to preserve his most priced possession? He would adore it everyday and hide it from the rest of the world.

A person can tell a big chunk of shining rock to stay the same forever and be his and only his but not me. I'm no jewel. I'm someone who has something she wants to accomplish in her life, something that only God knows. Whatever happens with what I want to accomplish and the way I would achieve it later on in my life is only for the Supreme Being to know. Whatever God wants for me, it's for me to find out and not for others to decide. That's my modest way of saying that no one has the right to tell me what I should do with my life based on the things that they see in me because I believe that there are things in my person that I haven't found out about yet. Everyone should just back off while I try to find it.

I know that somehow, these people just want to open doors for me, opportunities that they believe only them can provide. I do appreciate that but I want to look for opportunities on my own and I want to chase the dreams I have for myself. God will make the necessary detours to get me to the road He planned for me if I go astray. In the mean time, I'd be the architect of my future.

I do hope you understand.