Something Sad on Valentine's Day Eve
Day 44.
Do you want to know something sad?
I've never had a single special Valentine's Day at age 22. And the fact that I've had a fair share of boyfriends makes that a lot worse. It's either my relationships were just too short-lived or I'm just not that special for my exes to even bother doing something really unforgettable for me. Either way, I'm a loser and I'm going to spend my 22nd Valentine's Day without someone to exchange cheesy lines with.
Maybe now is the perfect time for me to vent about love. Well, I'm not that much of a love doctor or anything although my friends love to call me up in the middle of the night just to ask for a consult while they're almost crying their eyes out. And as the wise one, they almost always listen to what I tell them. In a way, I've helped a lot of relationships to get fixed. Some just don't work while others blossom. I don't take credit for it all but I can say that I'm somehow a matchmaker.
The fact that most matchmakers don't fall in love until they're over their prime just saddens and scares the crap out of me. The last relationship I've had was so six years ago and it ended badly because of my stupid decision to venture into a potential relationship with a college best friend. The potential relationship turned out to be a false alarm and I ended up getting sucked into a story of unrequited love while the man whose heart I unmercifully shattered into pieces found a woman who loves him with all her heart and marries him. I tried getting him back but he just won't talk to me again. He even slapped me with words I'd never forget. "Masaya na ko. Huli ka na." And so, I let him go. I guess I loved him enough to let him be happy without me.
Is this my karma? At this point, I really can't care less. If I were to be completely honest, I'm still not over that guy. He's the first to ever take me seriously and he's the one guy I've ever thought of marrying in the future. Our relationship only lasted for a year and seven months but I can say that those days were the moments I saw forever. I felt appreciated, cared for and safe. I was just too in love with the idea of love that I ran around looking for someone who's ideal in the societal standard of relationships. I threw away something that everyone else would cherish and protect. Yeah. That's my way of saying I'm an idiot.
And so here's to those who have broken somebody's heart. May the god of love have mercy on us all and let us go forth and multiply.
P.S. Sorry sa nagawa kong kagaguhan. Sorry kung iniwan kita pagkatapos ng lahat ng pangako ko sa yo. Sorry kung nasaktan kita. Sorry talaga. Yun lang. Alam mo na kung sino ka.
Do you want to know something sad?
I've never had a single special Valentine's Day at age 22. And the fact that I've had a fair share of boyfriends makes that a lot worse. It's either my relationships were just too short-lived or I'm just not that special for my exes to even bother doing something really unforgettable for me. Either way, I'm a loser and I'm going to spend my 22nd Valentine's Day without someone to exchange cheesy lines with.
Maybe now is the perfect time for me to vent about love. Well, I'm not that much of a love doctor or anything although my friends love to call me up in the middle of the night just to ask for a consult while they're almost crying their eyes out. And as the wise one, they almost always listen to what I tell them. In a way, I've helped a lot of relationships to get fixed. Some just don't work while others blossom. I don't take credit for it all but I can say that I'm somehow a matchmaker.
The fact that most matchmakers don't fall in love until they're over their prime just saddens and scares the crap out of me. The last relationship I've had was so six years ago and it ended badly because of my stupid decision to venture into a potential relationship with a college best friend. The potential relationship turned out to be a false alarm and I ended up getting sucked into a story of unrequited love while the man whose heart I unmercifully shattered into pieces found a woman who loves him with all her heart and marries him. I tried getting him back but he just won't talk to me again. He even slapped me with words I'd never forget. "Masaya na ko. Huli ka na." And so, I let him go. I guess I loved him enough to let him be happy without me.
Is this my karma? At this point, I really can't care less. If I were to be completely honest, I'm still not over that guy. He's the first to ever take me seriously and he's the one guy I've ever thought of marrying in the future. Our relationship only lasted for a year and seven months but I can say that those days were the moments I saw forever. I felt appreciated, cared for and safe. I was just too in love with the idea of love that I ran around looking for someone who's ideal in the societal standard of relationships. I threw away something that everyone else would cherish and protect. Yeah. That's my way of saying I'm an idiot.
And so here's to those who have broken somebody's heart. May the god of love have mercy on us all and let us go forth and multiply.
P.S. Sorry sa nagawa kong kagaguhan. Sorry kung iniwan kita pagkatapos ng lahat ng pangako ko sa yo. Sorry kung nasaktan kita. Sorry talaga. Yun lang. Alam mo na kung sino ka.
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