Good Enough

Day 188.

I just got home from work and my brain is nowhere near optimal thinking condition. All hell just broke loose inside my stomach and my eyelids are threatening to shut my sleep-deprived eyes forever. I don't remember feeling like this in my whole 22 years of existence. Aside from the fact that I'm starting to freak out about all the changes that are pushing themselves into my life right now, I'm also worried about my body and its functions which I used to not care that much about. I am in total shock of everything right now. Even though there's a feeling of fulfillment somewhere in between the panic and fear, I still can't help worrying which I consciously deem to be downright ridiculous because I don't worry. I never worry. And now, something has finally shaken my colossal ego.

Just so you guys know, I passed the first phase of my contact center training. I'm now on the second phase which is all about product specifics. It's a lot harder and challenging compared to the first phase which is basically like a repeat of high school English. So far, the topics are fairly easy to understand but there are times that I have to keep up with the terms and acronyms that sound alien to me. It really sucks being a newbie. It reminds me of my seventh grade days when I practically spent the whole school year eating by myself in the cafeteria and not talking to anyone but that one classmate of mine who had the decency of being nice to the new girl. I didn't know anything and to make matters worse, I was afraid to ask questions and come off as a moron to everyone. And so, I had to learn everything the hard way. At that point in my life, I've proven that experience indeed is the best teacher.

I really don't know what to think right now because I'm hungry and all I could think about is food. But kidding aside, I'd have to admit that I'm scared. It just sank in. I'm now in the real world where business is business and nobody's gonna go easy on me for anything. I have to listen, respond and deliver or else I'm cut. It's a PASS/FAIL system and I have to be good enough if not the best.

Am I good enough?

Well, I'm certainly not the best. But I can be good enough.

I just have to be brave and even if I'm not, I'm gonna pretend to be. Nobody could tell the difference anyway.

But first, I have to get some food and sleep.

Later guys!