Dreams and Reality

School's starting tomorrow and I'm not enrolled yet. I don't really care. I'm not excited at all to go back to school. I have more important things to worry about like FarmVille and Plants VS Zombies. Of course I was kidding.

I woke up to the sound of my mom's sobbing. She was crying in the bathroom while blabbing on about how useless her daughters are. It was totally an emotional moment for my mom and for my sister. As for me, I honestly didn't feel anything while my mom was weeping uncontrollably about our worthlessness. I'm kind of used to her breaking down like that. My mom's not the best emotion controller in the world. I do understand what she's going through - having to raise three lazy children alone while dealing with difficult relatives who are out to destroy our lives. No. I guess I don't understand at all. I've never been a single parent or anything like that. I guess I'll never understand until I get my ass married and have kids.

I'm so not looking forward to that.

I wanted to give up my tuition money I got yesterday from my uncle for my mom. She's going through a lot at the moment and while she was talking to us earlier, I was thinking about getting out of the house after the telling off to look for a job. I guess I don't give a shit about graduation anymore. Maybe it was just pride that's keeping me inside school. Maybe I just don't want people to look down on me someday and laugh their faces off while telling me how wasted my life has been, that I actually studied for nothing. If I look for a job now, maybe I'd earn enough to pull my mom out of her misery and actually revive what my dad left. Who cares about my diploma but me right? My mom would sure be proud of me when I get to that stage and shake hands with my professors who tortured me for four years but what comes after that? Graduation day passes like any other day and the smiles and tears of triumph would fade like a song's ending. Then guess what? Life goes on. Maybe I should go on, forget about dreams and start living for reality.

I was afraid that my mom would go mad if I actually tell her that she could use my tuition money for her thing and that I would just forget about school and look for a job. And so I didn't do it. I just stayed there, not breathing until she was done crying.

The day went on normally after that except my sister and I volunteered to cook lunch, clean the house and wash the dishes. Of course we wanted to appease the lady of the castle who just had a thirty-minute emotional breakdown.

The moral lesson? FORGET ABOUT DREAMS. LIVE FOR REALITY.

And this is where I say goodbye.