Just Hanging Around
I woke up early to watch my friend's guesting in Umagang Kay Ganda. It went well considering she just got 181 new friend requests in Facebook and one of the hosts of the show actually asked for her number. Take note, this host is cute. My friend just hit the jackpot. It was kind of funny watching her on TV though. I was literally clapping and screaming, "THAT'S MY FRIEND ON TV!" while my mom was throwing me that weird look. I guess I just got too excited. Well, it's not everyday that you actually see people that you know personally on TV.
For the past two days, I've been weird. There are no classes yet but my body clock already started functioning at school day scheme. I've been waking up early in the morning and finding it difficult to go back to sleep which is downright weird because it's so not me. Maybe my system is just preparing for school which is going to start in less than a week.
My mom started the after-grad conversation early this morning while I was busy getting my brain to start working at human mental rate. She began by telling me that my cousin who happened to have a husband who works for a posh call center called yesterday and told her to tell me that if I want to work after graduation, her husband's call center would be really honored to have me as an agent. I wanted to throw up after she broke the supposed-to-be good news to my early morning face. In my head, I was screaming, "She's shitting me right?" but all I could do was stare at her like some lost puppy in the middle of a deserted alley. I didn't answer although I would love to tell my mom that I'd rather volunteer in some government agency for the environment than answer calls from angry customers. At least that would have something to do with my discipline. It breaks my heart to even think that I would end up in a call center after four years of studying life, macroscopically and microscopically.
I hate waking up to a day like this.
I pray every single day that no one would dare bring up the med school topic in front of me and ask me to what med school I plan to go to after graduation. Of course I want to study medicine in UST. After all, that's where I finished my premed. But what if the situation does not agree with what I want? Well, the situation's clearly being difficult with what I want to chase after graduation. You know the deal. Financial problems and everything. My uncle who is being kind right now by supporting my college studies may not be kind enough in the future when I decide to pursue medicine. He even suggested that I work for a few years until my siblings get out of college and have their own careers. Of course I want my siblings to finish college. I want them to have an independent and productive life.
But what about me? Don't I deserve an independent and productive life?
I feel like a confused fifteen-year-old right now. All of a sudden, I'm not sure where to go. I don't know what I want. I don't understand why everything had to rest on money. Yeah. Of course everything had to rest on money. It's the currency that fuels everything that breathes in this world.
Damn it.
I wish I was a plant - a strong autotroph that relies on the rays of the sun for survival. An organism who doesn't have to deal with not-so-supportive family members, peer pressure and a culture that idolizes money and material things. Something that lives but doesn't bleed, breathes but doesn't feel and just undergoes the simple aspects of this life - growing up then dying down.
Simple.
No pressure.
Just hanging around.
For the past two days, I've been weird. There are no classes yet but my body clock already started functioning at school day scheme. I've been waking up early in the morning and finding it difficult to go back to sleep which is downright weird because it's so not me. Maybe my system is just preparing for school which is going to start in less than a week.
My mom started the after-grad conversation early this morning while I was busy getting my brain to start working at human mental rate. She began by telling me that my cousin who happened to have a husband who works for a posh call center called yesterday and told her to tell me that if I want to work after graduation, her husband's call center would be really honored to have me as an agent. I wanted to throw up after she broke the supposed-to-be good news to my early morning face. In my head, I was screaming, "She's shitting me right?" but all I could do was stare at her like some lost puppy in the middle of a deserted alley. I didn't answer although I would love to tell my mom that I'd rather volunteer in some government agency for the environment than answer calls from angry customers. At least that would have something to do with my discipline. It breaks my heart to even think that I would end up in a call center after four years of studying life, macroscopically and microscopically.
I hate waking up to a day like this.
I pray every single day that no one would dare bring up the med school topic in front of me and ask me to what med school I plan to go to after graduation. Of course I want to study medicine in UST. After all, that's where I finished my premed. But what if the situation does not agree with what I want? Well, the situation's clearly being difficult with what I want to chase after graduation. You know the deal. Financial problems and everything. My uncle who is being kind right now by supporting my college studies may not be kind enough in the future when I decide to pursue medicine. He even suggested that I work for a few years until my siblings get out of college and have their own careers. Of course I want my siblings to finish college. I want them to have an independent and productive life.
But what about me? Don't I deserve an independent and productive life?
I feel like a confused fifteen-year-old right now. All of a sudden, I'm not sure where to go. I don't know what I want. I don't understand why everything had to rest on money. Yeah. Of course everything had to rest on money. It's the currency that fuels everything that breathes in this world.
Damn it.
I wish I was a plant - a strong autotroph that relies on the rays of the sun for survival. An organism who doesn't have to deal with not-so-supportive family members, peer pressure and a culture that idolizes money and material things. Something that lives but doesn't bleed, breathes but doesn't feel and just undergoes the simple aspects of this life - growing up then dying down.
Simple.
No pressure.
Just hanging around.
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