Drunken Incoherence

So I was born into a well-to-do family. My dad could've been one of the country's biggest fiberglass tycoons if it weren't for his untimely passing and my mom's simply the best queen of the house who raised a prince and two princesses well. People regarded us as a perfect family, my parents a power couple and my siblings and I the perfect son and daughters. I'm not sure with my siblings but for me, it was pressure. Being the eldest daughter of a highly respected businessman, not to mention a flawless carbon copy, I had to be the model student and daughter. And so I spent my teenage years trying to impress my parents with my grades and everything. I pushed myself to the limit just so everyone would think I can do no wrong. It built a reputation, all right. Something a cigarette and a night of wild, remorseless merrymaking could destroy forever.

Since I quit my job last January, I've been enjoying drunken nights with a lot of new-found friends. I'm so happy with my reclaimed freedom I'm two nights away from turning into a full-fledged alcoholic. My lack of wanting to end up somewhere just makes things worse. Right now, I'm the exact opposite of my teenage self. The once determined and competitive student turned into a lazy, happy-go-lucky, good-for-nothing smartass who hates on everyone who tries to lecture her about the importance of work and financial stability. I guess that's what happens to people who lived half their lives trying to please others. Yeah, I learned my lesson.

That's exactly one of the reasons why I'm enjoying the unemployed life. I have no one to answer to, no one to impress. I don't have to wake up at 5 AM, get my ass off bed and go to a place where I'm basically building someone else's dream above my own. It's exhausting.

Maybe I'm being overly cynical. Maybe I'm not. Who cares? I'm 23 years old, unemployed and yet a party animal. People's comments and mocking glances don't really bother me that much anymore. What they think of me is none of my business and I really can't care less.

Last night while in a drinking session with my buddies, one of them told me, "Weird para sa akin na nakikita kang ganito kasi tingin ko sa yo ang linis-linis mong tao." All I could do was laugh. I had no idea our family reputation went that far. He shot me a look as if asking me what I was laughing about. If it weren't for my drunken incoherence, I would've told him, "Sometimes, good girls go bad. Nuff said."

I think I'm gonna go take a shower now. Too fucking hot in here.