5 Reasons Why Monster Energy Drink Shouldn't be Coupled with Apple & Cinnamon Cookies

Let me just state for the record that the only reason why I bought an almost 70 pesos worth of energy drink is that I'm curious. This is one of the times when I hate the scientist in me.

taken at a 7 Eleven in San Juan with the badass
smartphone my mom gave me out of her
unfailing love; filter and border
courtesy of Instagram

Without further ado, here are the 5 Reasons Why Monster Energy Drink Shouldn't be Coupled with Apple & Cinnamon Cookies.

1. Any person with a working knowledge of basic human biochemistry and in his/her right mind won't ever do that. That's actually another way of saying I'm not in my right mind—yet again. Everyone knows an energy drink is already a stimulant and a stimulant when coupled with something sugary could result to catastrophic energy release. Which leads me to number two.
2. It will undoubtedly result to a catastrophic energy release. I guess this varies from person to person. In my case, catastrophic energy release means the following: (I can't believe I'm writing a blog entry right now in a full-blown outline form.)
• Ultrasensitivity (i.e. getting impossibly annoyed at the trivial things like that girl in the bank earlier who's wearing what looked like a lampin for a tube top and Aztec print microshorts. I looked away the moment she entered the room because I didn't wanna know whether or not she was wearing underwear. She also was wearing make-up that I bet has enough layers to compose complete human skin of seven adults. Overall, she was a sight that made me feel like I was gonna die of disappointment.) I'm already ultrasensitive without the energy drink and the cookies. You don't wanna see how ultrasensitive I am when I'm on them.
• Imagination Overdrive without Sustenance (i.e. I was able to come up with three different stories in my head for every person who passed by me when I was sitting outside 7 Eleven waiting for my mom. And I didn't have anything on me to write them down. And now I wanna cry because I don't remember even a single one of them.)
• "Need for Speed" Mentality (i.e. I almost made my mom pee her pants on our way home because I drove like I was being chased by the police.)
3. Honestly, it doesn't really taste that good. I actually feel like an idiot for expecting Monster Energy Drink to taste like Mountain Dew. Well, it doesn't. On the other hand, the apple and cinnamon cookies tasted like they should. Bottomline, don't ever combine them.
4. It will make you think of stuff you shouldn't be thinking about and then drive you to the edge of your sanity. That's enough said.
5. And last but not the least, it will make you write a blog entry that will achieve nothing remarkable. Again, that's enough said.

I'm gonna go see if I can dilute my blood with water together with my mother's comforting words so I can turn into a normal person again.

Ciao.