Dear Paula Bianca S. Castro
Day 101.
It's easier to grieve your own defeat.
That's what I realized just now.
For some reason, my sister together with our cousin-in-law decided to clean our room today. Actually, they just got rid of all my sister's clutter but not mine. My sister said my study table is way worse than an abandoned manor garden so they just left it and went on cleaning the things that are easier to clean. I didn't give a damn and just tried to finish what's left of my job as a teacher.
After the cleaning session, the room fell silent so I was able to do teacher stuff in peace. Next thing I know, my sister was crying while my mom was giving her an inspirational pep talk which sounded to me like an attack to the unfairness of life. I killed my laptop's music and listened to the story. Apparently, my sister didn't make it to the accountancy retention exam. That's the most I could decipher in between her helpless sobs and my mom's words of wisdom and encouragement. My heart sank. Tears threatened to fall. I was only able to watch as my sister cried over spilled milk. At that moment, I would've collected all the goddamn milk just so she'd stop crying. If only I could.
I went through the same thing back in college only it's not much of a big deal because what I failed was just a minor course. Of course I cried my eyes out because I didn't want my summer vacation to be ruined by summer classes and also I felt sorry for my mom who was forced to find extra funds for my makeup classes. It was indeed a low point in my life as a student. I cried a little and then completely forgot all about it two days later. It was fairly easy crying over a mess I conjured myself but watching my sister shed tears earlier for something she badly wants was a prelude to a nightmare.
When it comes to studying, I'd give all the credit to my little sister. She's way more diligent than I am. She's hardworking in every way. I'd sometimes wake up in the wee hours of the night just to see her in front of her books like she never gets tired of them. She studies a lot that's why it's hard for me to believe that she failed in the biggest exam of her discipline.
Little sis, I won't tell you it's okay because technically, it's not okay to fail in one of the most important exams of your school life. I've already told you this but I want to say it again. Col. Hannibal Smith said, "No matter how random things might appear, there's still a plan." What happened today is no accident. God is up to something way better than the one you want for yourself. All your hard work will not go to waste, I guarantee you that. In the near future, you will look back on this day and laugh because you'll realize that you've cried over something way less than what you've achieved. The battle's not over. It has just begun and you're the mothaeffin' heroine.
No matter what happens, always know that we will always believe in you. To hell with the world. YOU'RE OUR FUTURE BADASS BILLIONAIRE ACCOUNTANT.
I love you.
Get out there and kick some sorry ass.
It's easier to grieve your own defeat.
That's what I realized just now.
For some reason, my sister together with our cousin-in-law decided to clean our room today. Actually, they just got rid of all my sister's clutter but not mine. My sister said my study table is way worse than an abandoned manor garden so they just left it and went on cleaning the things that are easier to clean. I didn't give a damn and just tried to finish what's left of my job as a teacher.
After the cleaning session, the room fell silent so I was able to do teacher stuff in peace. Next thing I know, my sister was crying while my mom was giving her an inspirational pep talk which sounded to me like an attack to the unfairness of life. I killed my laptop's music and listened to the story. Apparently, my sister didn't make it to the accountancy retention exam. That's the most I could decipher in between her helpless sobs and my mom's words of wisdom and encouragement. My heart sank. Tears threatened to fall. I was only able to watch as my sister cried over spilled milk. At that moment, I would've collected all the goddamn milk just so she'd stop crying. If only I could.
I went through the same thing back in college only it's not much of a big deal because what I failed was just a minor course. Of course I cried my eyes out because I didn't want my summer vacation to be ruined by summer classes and also I felt sorry for my mom who was forced to find extra funds for my makeup classes. It was indeed a low point in my life as a student. I cried a little and then completely forgot all about it two days later. It was fairly easy crying over a mess I conjured myself but watching my sister shed tears earlier for something she badly wants was a prelude to a nightmare.
When it comes to studying, I'd give all the credit to my little sister. She's way more diligent than I am. She's hardworking in every way. I'd sometimes wake up in the wee hours of the night just to see her in front of her books like she never gets tired of them. She studies a lot that's why it's hard for me to believe that she failed in the biggest exam of her discipline.
Little sis, I won't tell you it's okay because technically, it's not okay to fail in one of the most important exams of your school life. I've already told you this but I want to say it again. Col. Hannibal Smith said, "No matter how random things might appear, there's still a plan." What happened today is no accident. God is up to something way better than the one you want for yourself. All your hard work will not go to waste, I guarantee you that. In the near future, you will look back on this day and laugh because you'll realize that you've cried over something way less than what you've achieved. The battle's not over. It has just begun and you're the mothaeffin' heroine.
No matter what happens, always know that we will always believe in you. To hell with the world. YOU'RE OUR FUTURE BADASS BILLIONAIRE ACCOUNTANT.
I love you.
Get out there and kick some sorry ass.
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