Seven Circles of Emotional Hell

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you."

—Brian Tracy

I just went through seven circles of emotional hell after reading an email from an important person, professionally at least. I'm not gonna go into details. I guess what I just want to say is that it hurt enough to make me feel like my internal organs just got immersed in a pool of pure sodium hydroxide. I didn't know what to do at first. Do I cry? Do I write an anger-filled blog entry so diabolical I could get my ass thrown into a 6 x 8 prison cell? Do I contact one of my closest friends and tell them I want to end my sad, sad life?

Or do I just suck it up and set my mind into not screwing stuff up again?

I'm going for the last one.

I honestly feel like I don't have to explain myself. It's just Facebook and while I completely respect the feeling of disappointment on what I just did, I don't think it's something to apologize for. I already swallowed the hurtful words I totally deserved for being irresponsible the past few months. I just think I deserve a little bit of cyberspace where I can be uncontrolled for a while, away from unnecessary opinions. Maybe I have something to hide, maybe not, but I don't think it concerns my being an employee. Privacy is what I hoped to achieve by doing what I did. While I do appreciate being treated like family, I still want some things to myself.

I have loved words enough to master their incredible capacity of inflicting deep, even irreparable wounds. For the record, I was hurt and maybe I took some of them personally. But right now, I'm choosing not to go down the grudge road. Like I said, I deserved them and it's all said and done now. Setting up little fences that should've been there in the first place is my first step to moving on.

I meant it when I said I'm gonna change and I think you wouldn't care how as long as I did.

You have my word.

Let's just please leave it at that.

Good day.