5 Reasons Why You're a Freakin' Bacterium if You Didn't Find Hansel and Gretel Awesome

I am no stranger to children's bedtime stories. I knew an awful lot of them by heart but to be honest, the original tale of Hansel and Gretel isn't one of them. All I know is that they're brother and sister who found a house made of candy in the heart of the woods. I'm not even sure if that's part of the gist so that only goes to show that I have no complete idea of the whole story.

So I was at the theaters just last week with my sister to watch Jack Reacher. We came in early to see the trailers and I was like, "OH MY GOD! LET'S WATCH THAT!" after seeing the one for Hansel and Gretel. If I cuss before I say I want to watch a movie, there's no way in hell that I'm going to miss it.

So here are the 5 Reasons Why You're a Freakin' Bacterium if You Didn't Find Hansel and Gretel Awesome.

1. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton played Hansel and Gretel. Of course I knew Jeremy Renner from the latest Mission Impossible movie, The Bourne Legacy, Thor and Marvel's The Avengers. On the other hand, I didn't remember Gemma Arterton. If it weren't for IMDb, I wouldn't actually know that she starred in Prince of Persia and Clash of the Titans. Regardless, I really think that whoever did the casting did a great job because for one, they were convincing as brother and sister. Secondly, since they're convincing as brother and sister, I didn't find their closeness in the movie awkward. And last but not the least, they're badass. Nuff said.
2. The costumes and the makeup especially for the witches are just ridiculously freaky in a good way. Trust me. It's the kind of face that will make you wonder if that's even possible to pull off. This is the first movie to show me different looks of witches and I'm telling you, they're perfect Halloween costume ideas. I also love Hansel and Gretel's getup and weapons. That crossbow that shoots out arrows like it's a fucking machine gun, epic!
3. The fight scenes are loud and realistic. You know how in most movies the protagonist gets to hit the antagonist more? You won't see that in here. It's an even fight for the most part. Hansel and Gretel hit the witches and then the witches hit back. I love that the movie showed the protagonists' rise and fall. That's how fights should be. It allows the viewer to savor the protagonist's victory after the struggle. And I also loved how it's moderately gory because some movies just go overboard with the bloodshed which is not really fun to watch especially while eating.
4. Even though the movie has a dark theme, it never failed with a little humor. I know. Never is quite a strong word but I bet my life everyone who has watched this movie found some parts of it funny as well. For example, Hansel's being shy around a girl. I mean, it's a little weird that someone who decapitates witches for a living gets jumpy when talking to an ordinary female villager. Well, I really don't give a shit. I just never thought Jeremy Renner could be that adorable.
5. And last but not the least, the twist is simply breathtaking. As I've said, I don't know much about the original Hansel and Gretel story but I do think that the twist in this movie is just amazing. I'd love to tell you more about it but that would require me to spill the good beans so I'll just leave it to you guys. Hint: it's something unexpected.

Once again, this is precious money well spent. Indeed a perfect movie to watch with your family, friends or special someone. Good job to everyone and to the director Tommy Wirkola!

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Till next time, movie junkies!