What's Next

It's cold outside. I don't get it.

So I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my next career move. As I've said, I really, really, really want to quit my job already but for some reason, my boss won't let me even though there could be something seriously wrong with my heart. I consulted a specialist the other day and he told me that he can't determine anything unless I undergo a treadmill stress test and a 2D echo which will cost my mom a fortune (since the company health card is basically a bit useless for a non-regularized employee like me) and will result to a series of nagging that will last for God knows how long. And so I stayed home, watched what I ate and kept myself from getting too tired especially mentally. My mom said we'll go to the hospital on Thursday to get everything over with.

Surprisingly, my supervisor and teammates are not really looking for me. No text, no Facebook message, no tweets, nothing. As much as I want to feel sad, I reminded myself that this is just the beginning of a life-changing decision. I mean, you can't really expect people to mourn your impending departure even if they find you friendly and fun to be with. I'm sure they're already so used to me being absent that they actually forgot I'm still employed by the company. I'd just show up later, present my medical certificate and clear things up regarding my overdue resignation.

What to do next? Honestly, I'm not yet sure. I received a job offer from a pharmaceutical company in Manila as a medical representative. If you ask me, being a medical representative is the last thing I would ever want in this life. I mean, come on. I blew it as a customer service representative. I'm not good enough with a customer over the phone. How the hell can I be better with doctors in person? I know what you're thinking. If you're one of my friends, you'll be like, "What are you scared about? You graduated from a great school and you have excellent people skills! You should try it!" As much as I hate to admit it, trying is still one of the things that I'm scared of until now. I know. I still have a lot of growing up to do and whether I like it or not, I have to stop being idealistic at some point. It's not realistic.

Right now, I'm sitting here in front of my sister's laptop reading through the conversations of my officemates on Twitter about something. I miss being part of the group. I guess it's my fault.

Later, dudes.