Remember, Remember the Twelfth of October

With my initially good mood turned effed-up and the weather not really making things pleasant on this quiet Saturday, I just wanna go outside and drench myself in the downpour. I've always wondered how that would feel because I've never tried walking in the rain to release stress. People in movies make it look relieving, even romantic. But I guess I'm no movie star.

When I woke up earlier today, I tried shoving one thought in a corner and making sure it stayed there. But I failed. It took three seconds to complete a full stroll down memory lane, the last lane I wanna be in for today. It all came back like a rushing tide spreading itself all over dry shore. For some reason, I found myself smiling as I remembered the days when people here in our compound panicked about October 12th. When everyone was all over the place trying to make this day special. When I was sitting on my study table trying to orchestrate yet another musical of words that would express how much I loved my father.

Today is my dad's supposed-to-be 55th birthday. Another day that is supposed to be an unlimited food and booze day for everyone. But it's not. It's just another rainy Saturday. And I'm here writing a blog entry instead of a Happy Birthday Love Letter.

I'm not gonna say I wish I could tell my dad everything good that's happened to me these past few weeks because I could. I just wish he was here so I could see the look in his eyes whenever I tell him I achieved something. That look that told me he's proud of me even without the words. Words were never his thing anyway.

God, I miss him.

Dad, alam mo na to pero sasabihin ko pa rin. Mahal na mahal kita at miss na miss na kita. Things are starting to turn around for me now. God sent awesome people to help me out with my dreams. Hindi ako susuko, Dad. I'm gonna be somebody someday and I'll make you the proudest dad ever.

Happy birthday, Dad. I love you.