The First Brick Wall

I'm not gonna lie. I'm feeling more frustrated than ever. And it's because of that bigass brick wall up there.

I'm gonna sound braggy however I put this so I'm gonna go ahead and say it straight on - most things come easy to me. In my head, I regard myself as the most talented creature in the world. I think the only reason why I feel okay about placing myself on Mt. Olympus is that I don't really say anything. I actually wait for people to notice that I'm good at something and that's when I allow my head to swell up like a hot air balloon about to take off. But I don't go as far as pointing out to other people's faces that I'm awesome and never will. If there's one thing my mother made sure to brand hot in my brain tissues, that's the valuable lesson of being down to earth. I can say that's one of things I'm proud of - humility. So the general rule goes as Mary Cooper once said, "It's okay to be smarter than everybody but you can't go around pointing it out."

So that's out. I think I'm great. That's the reason why I get easily frustrated when something challenges me. Some people take challenges as opportunities for improvement and development but not me. As crazy and nonsense as it sounds, I often view challenges as one-way avenues to sheer defeat. And I don't like being defeated. My kindergarten playmates could attest to that.

Yeah, I know. One way or another, I'd have to suck it up and face it. Sooner or later, I'm gonna have to accept the fact that things that are worth having are worth fighting for and that things that could last forever always take sweat and blood to obtain. This is just a brick wall and when I get over it, I'm gonna look back with pure, silent and arrogant triumph in my eyes.

"The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They're there to stop the other people." 

Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Yeah. This is just me pep talking myself in the face of the first brick wall along the career path that I'm finally sure and excited about. At the end of the day, this isn't just about not failing the people who believe in me. It's about making sense of my existence, my purpose and my legacy.

This is the perfect time to regard myself highly more than ever.