Broken Concentration
Day 31.
Let me tell you something about broken concentration.
I've been distracted lately for reasons I can't seem to point out. I'm totally pissed at myself for not completing all the things I need to submit so I could lay hands on my goddamn pay envelope but there's something else. Everyday, I feel bummed. Every time I get around to things that I should be used to doing by now, I feel like I want to throw up and bury myself in a pile of scrap metal. My superhuman attention span seem to have slashed itself to zero resulting to me not being able to concentrate on one single thing for more than three minutes. I wanted to think that there's really something wrong with me but I really refuse to since I'm so self-absorbed I'd never believe anything negative about myself.
And then it hit me.
Could I be in love?
Yeah. Dumb question. Especially for a single 22-year-old like me who at the moment dislikes movies about destiny and forever.
I guess it's time for me to decide that I'm not. I'm not in love. What the hell? I've never went out with a guy since I dated a marine who happened to be a sex-crazed maniac. It was really a traumatic experience for me, so psyche-damaging that I considered entering the nunnery.
Of course the other part of me would totally disagree. Fine. Maybe I am in love after all. Infatuated if you may say so with a guy who is unique and intelligent, someone I could only be with in another life. Don't ask. I can't risk him reading this.
Okay. Now I feel stupid. Am I not too old for this sort of stuff?
My concentration had just depleted.
I gotta go.
Let me tell you something about broken concentration.
I've been distracted lately for reasons I can't seem to point out. I'm totally pissed at myself for not completing all the things I need to submit so I could lay hands on my goddamn pay envelope but there's something else. Everyday, I feel bummed. Every time I get around to things that I should be used to doing by now, I feel like I want to throw up and bury myself in a pile of scrap metal. My superhuman attention span seem to have slashed itself to zero resulting to me not being able to concentrate on one single thing for more than three minutes. I wanted to think that there's really something wrong with me but I really refuse to since I'm so self-absorbed I'd never believe anything negative about myself.
And then it hit me.
Could I be in love?
Yeah. Dumb question. Especially for a single 22-year-old like me who at the moment dislikes movies about destiny and forever.
I guess it's time for me to decide that I'm not. I'm not in love. What the hell? I've never went out with a guy since I dated a marine who happened to be a sex-crazed maniac. It was really a traumatic experience for me, so psyche-damaging that I considered entering the nunnery.
Of course the other part of me would totally disagree. Fine. Maybe I am in love after all. Infatuated if you may say so with a guy who is unique and intelligent, someone I could only be with in another life. Don't ask. I can't risk him reading this.
Okay. Now I feel stupid. Am I not too old for this sort of stuff?
My concentration had just depleted.
I gotta go.
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